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This is what misogyny looks like.

I’m watching the news this morning, and they mention that the winner of the Miss America pageant was a victim of domestic violence. The first thing that goes through my head is She can’t be a victim of domestic violence. She must be making it up.

The second thing that goes through my head is what is wrong with me for thinking that?

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It’s insidious. Pernicious. The statistics say something like 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted. Why is it so hard for us to believe this is true?

***

I watched a man teaching his son to read on the subway one morning on my way to work. The kid, probably five or six, sat on his dad’s lap sounding out the words in an article.

On my way out of the train, I looked down, and saw a mostly naked woman on the page. The boy was reading Letters to Penthouse.

***

I have thought numerous times during pregnancy and childbirth and breastfeeding that if men had to deal with this shit, we’d have a pill for it already.

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My mother taught me when I was younger that you always lock car when you park, to make sure nobody gets into the backseat while you’re out. To park under a streetlight. To avoid dark areas.

Nobody ever taught my husband these things.

***

This is what misogyny looks like.